With the news as rough as it is, online shopping is supposed to be a nice distraction. But I am so confused by the sweaters that keep popping up in my Facebook feed. Let’s start with this whole thing from Anthropologie.

I feel like maybe I should be a consultant for their target adult demographic.

Tip #1: They missed an excellent opportunity to try to sell us some slippers.

Tip #2: Most women would not wear a white bathrobe to stir anything involving red sauce. Especially with white fluff flying everywhere.

Tip #3: Maybe make it shed-proof so we don’t have to buy leather pants to go with.

Tip #4: The fan base wants that kitchen. We would go through the depths of Mordor–or at least climb a moderately steep mountain range–for that range. We would also sacrifice many things for someone to keep it that clean and sparkly. Alas, we would not wear the kimono, as the sleeves would probably catch on fire or get in the red sauce. 

We deserve an anthro-apology for an excess of kitchen envy and that shedding bathrobe.

Not to be outdone, Target wanted to make sure I saw this one.

Something else just seemed a little off with the Target holiday sweater not-a-pinafore. Were the button eyes too perfect? The heels just a tad high? Alison nailed it in the Target comments.

I think for date night I’ll skip Olaf the snowman, find my husband and try on this double-dose of lunacy: